first onry day

Today marks the 6th Master Cleanse day and I am onry, tiered, and frusterated. Luckily I have some very compassionate friends that hug me and snap me out of it pretty quickly. I announced to my class that I was on strike today and that I needed a little extra compassion. A classmate suggested that perhaps I am dealin with really intense unresolved types of issues coming up today. (the 'g' button on my key board is getting sticky...)
xo L

dia cinco de master cleanse

Road my bike to meet Eben at movies. The way there was easy, the way back I took a wrong turn and got lost ending up in a hugely Jewish neighborhood. It being Roshoshonah....the men had huge furry hats on and everyone was coming home from Temple. I was a litte worried after watching, "The Science of Sleep" that I had morphed into a different time era. These are the kinds of thought I am having on this day five of master cleanse. Everything is going well. I have found that water cures all hunger pangs and mostly I miss the culture of eating. I would really love to go to dumpling man, or slice some cheese with a wire cheese cutter. :) Only five more days.

MASTER CLEANSE DAY UNO

All right. Master Cleanse time. I drink 8-12, 8 ounce glass bottles full of a mysterious elixer comprized of water, 2 tbs of lemon and lime juice, 2 tbs of grade b maple syrup, 1/10 a teaspoon of cayenne, and I shake it up and it is spicy and sweet and yummy. No food is alloud, and it is totally not a problem. I drink dons of tea and lucid dream every night I have been getting up earlier than ever and I am freakishly okay for basically not eating.

In the morning you drink a quart of luke warm sea salt and water and wait two hours and then see what actually flows out of you. It is pretty awesomely gross.

One observation that I have had is that I often loose things and my first instinct is to freak out and run around like a chicken with my head cut off. Here is a sample of the kind of thought that go through my head when I giggle my bag and can't hear my keys..."Oh my gosh, my keys are lost! Where are they? Oh no my cell phone is broken, I have no way to get ahold of any roommates. Maybe they are home. Darn if they aren't home then I have no way to get in. Okay.." I continue to fumble for the keys, now with my head in my bag. "I can't believe I am so stupid. blah blah blah...."

In meditation they talk about observing your thoughts like bubbles around you, and not feeling anything about them, (not letting your thoughts spin you out of control.) So now when I misplace something I notice that it wasn't where I expected and observe it like a bubble floating away. Then I continue with my daily life, and generally find the object when I forget that I was looking for it. The object cannot be deemed lost until I cannot find it. Freaking out after the initial thought does nothing but hinder the search.

Then I find my glasses right on topa my head, or my keys in my bag, or my cell phone in my pocket. I am a smart girl and my subconscious looks out for me.

early to rise

Today I have a performance at The Bowery Poetry Club at an open mic hosted by Not in Our City. I signed up to perform awhile ago, but I haven't quite worked out my ideas into one five minute piece. I have given myself the time to complete my piece today. Last night I started drinking a calming night time tea and went to sleep a little after midnight. I decided I wanted to get up early and go to yoga at 7:15 which meant leaving the house no later than 6:45am. I left the house at 6:48am arrousing with not too much trouble. I got to the studio right on time and found out that the teacher for the class had not shown up. There were about 8 students who were prepared to take the class. Two of whom were on their way out of the studio to start their day in another way. I asked if we could still use the yoga studio, and the other instructer who was in the middle of a private lesson accross the hall agreed. There were six of us in the room starting out on our mats, a few moments into the practice one of the studends asked if we would all like to do class together. Everyone agreed and another student offered to lead, and apologized for not knowing the Sanscrit words for various poses. I started out practicing with the class and realized that there were poses that my body needed and decided to break off and do what I knew I needed. This was a huge risk for me, because I don't want to ever displease "the teacher." Since the teacher in this case was another student I was able to relax and follow my intuition. No matter what yogi master is presiding over class I am still the expert about my body.

Then I started to think about the times when I felt like I have let a group of people down. In the future if I am ever in the place of the yoga teacher, who wasn't able to make class today; I hope I can remember that perhaps I am facilitating an important moment for them through my absence.

It is 9:42am (two an hour earlier than I have risen in a long time) I have .practiced yoga and had breakfast (freash squeezed oj with carrot juice and ginger/ shot of wheat grass). I am happy and refreashed and headed to the shower to use my new bath stuff.

wishin and hoping and plannning and cleansin

Last week I started a nutritional cleanse, under the guidance of my nutritionist, Meredith Doherty, that is recommended in Staying Healthy with the Seasons by Elson M. Hasas, M.D.
It calls for each day eliminating a food group until you reach just fruits and veggies, (which is where I currently am) and then a day of all juices and then building back the foods. I have opted to go into a ten day Master Cleanse to really try to ratify the changes that I am making in my life, by wiping my nutritional slate clean and really examining my choices surrounding nutrition.
Last Monday was the first day of the cleanse, it involved observance only and no necessary changes. I had two scoops of ice cream and tons of delicious pumpkin filled ravioli and then spinach filled ravioli for dinner.
Tuesday was no toxins. Meaning: No alcohol, no Coffee, no Drugs (I took this to mean any kind of over the counter prescription). I really appreciate coffee and love the effects on my mind and social behavior. I miss it.
Wednesday I stopped eating refined sugar and white flour. This basically takes out all processed foods of any type. Though my roommate Kristi got me a delicious raw dessert made of raspberries and almond butter. I have noticed how addicted I am to sugar. It is in everything. It is an additive and it is even in V8.
Thursday meant no meat. I eat so little of it, it was no big thing. I started becoming hyper aware of all of the smells of food. Most of the smells were heavenly, but I wasn't interested in consuming them. I went to Charmain Punx for meditation, and sat for the first time in a group other than my yoga class. It was a 45 minute sit, and I felt all these amazing sensations. Including thinking I could see my hands when my eyes were closed. Being unsure of where I was in time. I couldn't tell if I was far in the future meditating for the 100th time. Also an extreme pulsing section in my chest feeling the receiving of love and acceptance from an unknown source (maybe me). I enjoyed a big cottage cheese late at night.
Friday: no dairy. I had a hard time tonight because I love cheese. I love cheese fruit and wine. I had to say no. But the social interaction was fine without it. Friday night I went out to dessert with a distant cousin. I opted for herbal tea, and realized that I can say no to anything that I want whenever I want, and it is totally fine.
Saturday: No beans and Nuts. I love black beans, almonds, walnuts, hummus and chick peas...this was, though I enjoyed a sizzling bok choi over long grain mixed rice with garlic, onions, and olive oil.
Sunday: No seeds. No yummy Eden gossamo.
Monday: No Grains. This was sad. I have grown to love cous cous, and quinoa.
Which brings me to today: All steamed veggies and fruits, and tomorrow which is fresh squeezed juices and broths. I just bought myself tons of lemons, sea salt, teas, and body products (loofa, scrub brush, peppermint bath wash, johoba oil, scented candle) for the cleanse. I am looking forward to this time of reflection and intention.
Keep me in your prayers and thoughts. I will be meditating on love and all of the people who have clearly dedicated their loyalty and creativity into my life. If I am a little silent in the coming days, know that it is because my cell phone took a splash primarily, but also because I am taking care of myself and look forward to talking with you soon.